I'd like to meet the people who invented sex and see what they're working on now.

If you control someone's sexuality, you control them completely.

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast

In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure

Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand [or Toy].

Sex isn’t bad, people’s attitude about sex is.

Give a man free hands, and you’ll know where to find them.

My brain is my second favorite organ.

Sex Appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% of what people think you've got.

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not really sure what it means.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone you love.

Sex hasn’t changed, people’s attitudes about sex has changed.